All I can think about are the friends and family members I know personally who have sat in a doctors office waiting for the doctor to come in and tell them sobering news.I met with a couple yesterday who recently heard this kind of news. The wife was told she has breast cancer. The doctors told them of all the possibilities and prepared them for the worst. Since they found out a couple weeks ago, she has had this new found desire to be free from responsibilities. She told me she despises looking at her calender that is filled with all kinds of appointments and things she HAS to do. She blurted out, "I hate that calender!" She admits that since she found out she feels trapped by all the things that hold her back from "living."
I get that. My "dash" often feels like it's just full of stuff I have to do, not truly living life to the full. What does it mean to get the most out of each day without letting each day drain the most out of me?
I'm leary to have high expectations for this 30 days. Are you? I don't want to make promises I can't keep. I guess I'm hoping to gain a long term perspective that impacts each day, but doesn't fade after this 30 days has gone.
What are you hoping to get out of this?
My biggest problem is that I want to do it all. So I tend to pile a bunch of stuff on my plate, set myself up to fail, and then feel like such a loser when I don't meet my own expectations. I would love to learn how to settle for doing the things that God wants me to focus on and do them well, than to try to do all the things I want to accomplish all at once and only do them with mediocrity.
ReplyDeletei agree with you both, I don't want to start strong and then 2/3 the way through move on to something else. I don't want to be cynical about the book, but I naturally go there. It is scary to even think about the idea of only having 30 days to live...
ReplyDeleteI do have a question...would you want to know if you had 30 days to live, or just not know and then die?
Good question Dan. Probably depends on the day. Some days I'd say "just take me unexpectedly!" and others I'd like to know so I can let the people in my life know how much I love them. I'd probably want to write some things to my kids that they could read for the rest of their life...mushy stuff like that.
ReplyDeleteI wonder if I truly had 30 days to live I'd spend that whole time fighting to stay alive, looking for some doctor to heal me, etc. Or would I just give up and be ok dying. That would be a hard call. huh?
I personally know what it is like to have someone in your life have there dash be shorter than expected. My mom died when I was 17 years old and being a teenage girl and her being the strong hand in the family, lets just say we didn’t get along great all the time. It wasn’t until I lost her that I wanted her so bad!! Now being a mother myself I find that I take each moment with my girls and though they make me crazy sometimes, I try and carve out little minutes because what if tomorrow never came would they feel fulfilled and loved. Maybe for some living like you only have one month is new. However for me knowing what only having one month to live with the person you love feels like, nothing is more important.
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