14 Days and Counting

GIFTS. PASSIONS. STRUGGLES. Chapter 17

Couple things that jumped out at me was the word "enthusiastically" in Romans 12:11 means "God within." That makes so much sense. It's not us trying and trying to be enthusiastic about something or by our own grit and determination to be passionate about God. It's letting God within us, come out of us with the passion and enthusiasm that is from Him.

I also loved the Dr. Seuss quote on page 132, "Be who you are because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." That's is brilliant. Love Dr. Seuss.

What did you get from this chapter?

15 Breakfasts Left

TRUE WORTH.

Believing God created me just the way I am for a purpose, has the power to effect me every moment of every day, if I let it. Accepting this can sometimes be difficult because we know us and we know what we are capable of and often thing the bad out weighs the good. But, the truth is if we treated ourselves the way God has treated us, we would believe more and more in who we are and what He's created us to do.

This reminded me of what I heard someone say at one of those leadership conferences. I believe it was Andy Stanley who talked about the 2 things we need to be doing are what's necessary and natural. We need to always be willing to do what's necessary, but be moving toward doing what is natural to us (ie our strengths). I think if I had 15 days to live I wouldn't waste a single moment creating inserts or on graphics design, or on planning an event, or budgeting... or a myriad of other things that are necessary for me to do. I think i would spend my time discipling my kids, equipping men to be spiritual leaders, having conversations to friends about Jesus, impressing Biblical truth to people I care about.

What about you, what would you spend your time doing if you had 15 days to live?

16 Days To Speak Truth In Love

COMMUNICATION -- Chapter 15

Has anyone else been guilty of being on a mission while walking through the church lobby on the weekend and hoping no one stops you to talk? It hit me several months ago that I subconsciously try and have meaningful conversations in the least amount of time.

When asked on page 113, "What prevents you from listening more closely to those you care about?" It's absolutely because I'm either in a hurry or my brain is full.

I liked the quote on 112, "If you listen beneath the words of those you love, you'll hear the hurt and connect with them on a deeper level." If I had 16 days to live, I think I would do that with fewer and fewer people.

How would you communicate if you have 16 days left to live?

17 Days to Appreciate a Friend

THANKFUL.

I think the best quote for me was before the chapter 14 started. "Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend." --Melody Beattie

I needed to be reminded of this extremely important truth. For me, this is the key to my not being frustrated, overwhelmed, and stressed. When I am at a place of thankfulness for my family, friends, ministry, and each day God gives me, there is usually very little room for those other things I mentioned. The challenge for me is staying there.

How do you get to that place of thankfulness? How do you stay there?

18 Chances to Reach Out

SANDPAPER PEOPLE.

"He's more interested in our character than our comfort" (pg.99). This is a very important truth in any relationship. But not just in relationships, in all of life. If we really took ownership of this, and saw God this way, instead of the Great Grandfather in the sky who's main goal is to make us happy, we'd live healthier and happier lives.

Why is it so hard for us to accept that God will allow us to experience pain and discomfort for His Glory. Don't get me started on American consumerism (one of the greatest diseases to the American Church -- oh look I started). Breath...breath...

OK, back to the book. At first I could not think of anyone that I would consider sandpaper people like he described with the tools. But, the more time I thought about it, the more people kept coming to the front of my mind. If you're married your spouse has to be at the top of the list. They are THE person in our lives who God put there to help transform us to be more like Him. Then it's your parents or siblings, or neighbors, and co-workers. Anyone we see on a regular basis who knows who we are and sees our flaws... God can use to smooth off the rough edges in our lives.

How does this perspective of people, change our relationships with them?

19 Days To Smell the Roses

CONFLICT.

Another great chapter. One line that jumped out to me was, "Learn to attack the issue without attacking each other." I think that is a valuable nugget I will keep with me.

Being in ministry we all probably experienced someone attacking us because of some issue. Tim Winters once told me that, people will praise you for what you do and criticize you for who you are.

Not to get all scriptural on you but the verse that says we're not battling flesh and blood but it's a spiritual battle (Eph. 6:13). I need to be reminded that with my wife, although it FEELS very personal, it is an issue we are fighting not each other.

How are you doing in conflict resolution?

20 Evening Dinners

UNITY.

I liked this chapter. I liked the analogy because having a healthy long lasting relationship with all the perks that we were created for, is hard work -- like climbing a mountain. I thought the three mountains people have to climb, misunderstanding, "me first," and mistakes were pretty good too.

I believe conflict is the pathway to true community. I believe that every relationship will be tested in the fire and see what it's made of. In my experience most people aren't willing to work hard through the mountainous terrain (if I may continue his analogy). I also believe the rough terrain could be smoothed over when both parties offer grace and forgiveness.

The other day I was sitting at lunch with someone who has had a crazy life with lots of hypocrisy and judgementalism. A life that has been riddled with negative relational experiences. This person was talking about how he has such high standards for everyone and is the first to point out inconsistencies and mistakes in others. I kind of blurted out, without thinking, "you didn't experience a lot of grace growing up, did you?" He emailed me later that day as he reflected on my question and said it was a big "aha moment" for him.

I think my mom is one of the most gracious people I've ever known, and I never realized how much I bennefited from that until this week.

When we loose the ability to offer grace to people, we loose the possibility for the depth and growth that come from the relationships God's wired us for.

Thoughts on the chapter?